Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question. "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None.", replied Johnny. "'cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking." Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one Licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married? Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?" "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you are thinking". The Teacher Fainted...

Wife And Husband Visit DoctorA woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After the checkup, the doctor took the wife aside and told her, "If you don't do the following, your husband will lose his will to live and surely die." Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood. At lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work. For dinner, fix especially nice meals selected from his favorite foods and don't burden him with household chores or problems. Make love with him several times a week and satisfy his every sexual whim. On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor had told her. She replied, "You're going to die."

Well let's smile something.The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale."Good morning, madam. I've come to....""Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in."Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of babies""That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?""Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out!""Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me""Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results""My, that's a lot of....." gasped Mrs. Smith."Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure" "Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures."This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London""Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief."And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with""She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith."Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look""Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement."Yes," the photographer said, "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean squirrels actually chewed on your, um......equipment?""That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so we can get to work.""Tripod?????""Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? ....... Good Lord, she's fainted!!"

It was a great moment for Indian tennis as India win the tie agianst host Australia. Here is tie results:Hopman Cup - India v AustraliaSinglesSania Mirza (India) bt Alicia Molik (Australia) 6-2 2-6 6-4Peter Luczak (Australia) bt Rohan Bopanna (India) 7-6 (7-5) 6-3Mixed DoublesSania Mirza/Rohan Bopanna (India) bt Alicia Molik/Peter Luczak (Australia) 6-2 4-6 13/11It was a great game and Sania Mirza and Rohan Bopanna shown excellent performance in double events.

Here is the FA Cup fixture of this season which is starting from this weekend.Jan 05, 2008Home Time Away Venue Chasetown 13:00 Cardiff The Scholars GroundWolverhampton 14:00 Cambridge Utd Molineux StadiumWalsall 14:00 Millwall Bescot StadiumBarnsley 15:00 Blackpool Oakwell StadiumBlackburn 15:00 Coventry Ewood ParkBolton 15:00 Sheff Utd Reebok StadiumColchester 15:00 Peterborough Layer Road GroundHuddersfield 15:00 Birmingham The Galpharm StadiumNorwich 15:00 Bury Carrow RoadPreston 15:00 Scunthorpe DeepdaleWest Ham 15:00 Man City Upton ParkWatford 15:00 Crystal Palace Vicarage Road StadiumTranmere 15:00 Hereford Prenton ParkTottenham 15:00 Reading White Hart LaneSwindon 15:00 Barnet County GroundSwansea 15:00 Havant and W Liberty StadiumSunderland 15:00 Wigan Stadium of LightSouthend 15:00 Dag & Red Roots HallSouthampton 15:00 Leicester St. Marys StadiumPlymouth 15:00 Hull Home ParkIpswich 15:00 Portsmouth Portman RoadEverton 15:00 Oldham Goodison ParkChelsea 15:00 QPR Stamford BridgeBrighton 15:00 Mansfield Withdean StadiumBristol City 15:00 Middlesbrough Ashton GateCharlton 15:00 West Brom The ValleyAston Villa 17:15 Man Utd Villa ParkJan 06, 2008Home Time Away Venue Burnley 14:00 Arsenal Turf MoorFulham 14:00 Bristol Rovers Craven CottageDerby 14:00 Sheff Wed Pride Park StadiumLuton 16:00 Liverpool Kenilworth StadiumStoke 18:00 Newcastle Britannia Stadium

What type of music does everyone like? I am probably going to sound very strange because I listen to Contemporary Christian Rock. Taitband is my no.1 favorite. Michael Tait is the sweetest guy in the world. He is really nice and so are all the guys in his band.

Which is your Favorite TV Show? I love 24 now, because it's always suspensful. I loved Alias when it was on for the same reason. For funny, I would have to say now it's King of Queens just love the characters, especially Carrie's dad & Everybody Loves Raymond, still love the re-runs. Just too close to home sometimes makes me laugh.

I would like you to ask that How much do you pay for your internet connection? I pay US $29 a month for unlimited access. I am now trying some good connection because of big downloads. I have slow connection. Next time I have to paid $50 for 1 MBps connection.

Hello Everyone,I am new here and this is my first blog entry on this website. My name is Rohit and I am from India. I am glad to join this network and hoping more fun with blogging. I like such concepts where people talk with each other.If you want to know anything about me post it here.